I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
