In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
be right there i have to get my cape
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
