Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
