I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
