bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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