I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
