Your dad touched me again.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
