I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
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