She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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