can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
