piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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