Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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