your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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