Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
