I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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