Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
