GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
