Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
