I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
