3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
