WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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