So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
