I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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