just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
