im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
