You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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