i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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