I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I enjoy the company of your penis
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
