Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
two words...techno handjob
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I love you.
Bad choice
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