I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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