He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
