Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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