Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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