did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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