You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize