So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
