She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
