yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Randomize
