walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
