She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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