a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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