my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
There r osticjed everywhere
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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