i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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