how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
