I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
