Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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