We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
