Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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