My room smells like vodka and shame
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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