How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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