He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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