If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
