Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
