I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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