she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
did you just send me my own nude
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
