I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
