We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
