DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Randomize
