You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
