I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
