Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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