They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
