I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Randomize
