she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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