I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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