Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry so_fucked_up hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(561): View more from Florida

i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls

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(407): View more from Florida

No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal

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(309): View more from Illinois

Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..

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(315): View more from New York

found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.

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(714): View more from California

The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you

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(360): View more from Washington

just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.

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(925): View more from California

I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.

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(817): View more from Texas

I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend

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