I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Randomize
